When I initially read this, I called Poe’s Law – it simply had to be a spoof, because while I’ve seen a lot of breathtakingly idiotic stuff from following US politics, I thought nobody could actually bring the weapons grade stupid you are about to see in this article interviewing BNP ‘babes’. But parody it is not.
You no longer need to be a hatchet-faced National Front refugee to join the whites-only club. The fascist menace no longer wears jackboots. It no longer flags down the number 25 bus with a hearty “Sieg Heil”. Nope, ours is a new, gentler, more airbrushed age. Feminism’s here, so now girls can dig race hate too. As the BNP’s attempts to reposition itself as a mainstream party have advanced its perimeter far beyond the usual crewcuts-n-tats brigade, we spoke to three of the more acceptable new faces of the unacceptable. What a bunch of hotties! Phwoar! Makes you aroused to be British.
Basically, Vice.com decided to interview/take the piss out of these brownshirt bombshells. The result? 24 carat comedy gold. Here’s one of them, Rebecca Edwards, 23, showcasing her formidable intellect:
When people say the BNP is a fascist party, what do you think?
Fascist – I don’t understand that word.
Think of Nazi Germany, or 1930s Italy.
I can’t even remember when that happened really, but I’m against them anyway.
This girl should run for office.
She follows that up with this gem:
What do you think symbolises Britain best?
Well, I used to know Britain as strong, and over the past couple of years, I don’t know if I’ve grown up, but I’ve seen it going soft. The memory I have is the war, and how we fighted [sic] all the people in WWI and WWII, and it makes me proud to be British.
So, she can’t remember when Nazi Germany happened, but World War 2 makes her click her Ginger Spice Union Jack platform heels to the tune of Rule Britannia for a country she
loves can’t wait to get out of. Move over Einstein.
What’s the best thing about living in Britain today?
I hate Britain and I want to move to Spain in the next couple of years, ’cause our country’s not England any more. It’s very rare for English people to live here any more. When I went to Lanzarote, I felt more English there than I do here, and that’s no exaggeration.
So, if you just can’t handle your country being taken over by an imaginary tsunami of foreigners, be a foreigner taking over someone else’s country! That’ll learn ‘em. Oh and please, please do move to Spain. Britain’s collective IQ would rise at least 50 points, with the added bonus that you would finally have done something genuinely patriotic. Win-win.
Read the whole thing and the other interviews with other hilariously thick racist chicks – and also this interview with Miss Edwards which basically goes: “How dare you post things I actually said? Now people think I’m racist and dumb, which I’m totally not! Dumb, that is.”
Stuff like this proves that Andrew Sullivan and co, instead of promulgating the horrendous Bell Curve bullshit, should consider the theory that there is a strong correlation between racism and lack of intelligence.